The Six Trials of Larazod Script

The Script to the Six Trials of Larazod

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Act 1: Condemnation
*
*BAILIFF

Order in the Tribunal. The Court of His Honor Paraduke Montigny Haanderthan, Black Tongue of Lord Entropy, Magistrate Maleficarum, now holds session. All rise.

HAANDERTHAN
Be seated, members of the Court. Today this court seeks truth, or at least shadows thereof, from one Larazod Rilsane, honored veteran of the Shadestar War, member of a once gloried house, of recent fallen in Lord Entropy’s regard. The accused stands on several counts of failed conspiracy, evidenced thereof by the industrious interrogations of the court’s own Seeker, Drovalid Vorclune, administered with his usual diligence and severity. In these interviews Vorclune gathered from notable sources, only a few of whom survived their conversations with the lash, that Larazod of the Rilsane held audience with undesirables—the topic of their whispered covenant the activities of none other than myself. A most serious affair. Service to Lord Entropy’s ever-darkening glory is never without risk of menace, betrayal, and threat of doom. My family and I have long suffered the bumbling attempts of assassins who would tear at our dark lord’s visage as casually as they befoul their mothers’ beds.

What they lack in cunning they bolster with sheer desperation, evidenced by consorting with all manner of Aroden-suckling knaves, and aged wiz-worms who trust in mystic secrets over the Dark One’s love.

You hereby stand accused, Larazod, along with your illseeming compatriots, of conspiracy to undertake grievous harm to the institution of this tribunal, namely myself, Paraduke Montigny Haanderthan. How answer thee these charges, Larazod of House Rilsane? Be thou maligned by a scandal-brewer’s wagging tongue, or dost thou cleave to my comings and goings as a bloat fly to a fresh cadaver? Speak! And know that lies are my closest friends. They’ll betray you before I. Speak the truth or do worse than die!

DENTRIS
Hold your tongue, boy, and we’ll escape the firebrand yet. Your father was the model of a devil’s squire. Summon his wiles now, and keep shut that Abyss you call mouth, before we all tumble down into its darkness. Had you been born deaf and dumb, this loyal servant would yet live to see another midnight.

TYBAIN
Hurl his arrogance and accusations back at him, Larazod. He wants precious golden-yoked truth? Give him more than he can choke down. For whether revealed by the brilliance of Aroden’s eye, or the long red shadows cast by your Dark Lord’s fiery gaze, a man false at heart and shrouded in hollow faiths is nothing more than a traitor to all. Let him that judges false be judged by wraiths—smote by his own brand shall he fall.

LARAZOD
Larazod knows no lies, great magistrate, and no slanderer’s tongue caresses my dignity. The accusations you speak are as true as Lord Entropy’s sword. They cleave clean through. Let the witnesses suffer no more lash. To burn their innards with pokers and steal their eyes is simply to waste precious toil better spent in Entropy’s service. There is but one point misaligned in this dark constellation—I seek not your death, though the secrets you harbor in your feeble heart deserve a gruesome demise.

I carry no assassin’s blade, nor breath-stealing spell to rob your mortality. To end you I need only know you, and to cast you in an honest shade. I pierce your “shadows of truth” and show you for what I know—a false knave, a demon-supping wag-tail, a balor’s bawd, a pus-leaking cataract in the eye of Lord Entropy’s justice, and subject to the multi-handed ministrations of a marilith whore, dretchloving plunderer, and traitor to our great Dark Lord.

Farus makes an amusing rude gesture as there is much commotion among the council.

ILSANDRA
(Aside) And to think I almost spent this session in the orgybaths of Kalrath. None of their fleshy delights could compare to the ecstasy this half-breed’s words stroke within me! See his fierce aspect burn in fury, even below the tribunal’s culling justice. But how shall Haanderthan answer?

HAANDERTHAN
Heavy words for a forked tongue to manage, boy. You juggle them well enough, but like a poor fool, offer jest and jape. I assume this glib outrage, obviously a threadbare attempt to throw off the keening blade of justice, is backed by the testimony of a thousand law-loving fiends? Perhaps the ancient augurer at your side, ever your father’s faithful lap-lizard, probed the ancient secrets of the cosmos and uncovered my blasphemous treachery? Or have you a soulbonded scroll of bone-white parchment upon which my scrawled hand appears next to some Lightspawned conspirator? You amuse me, half-breed, and it is the only reason your sniveling soul is not yet blasted away in hellfire and borne on a river of sorrow to some ignominious corner of the Hells. Whereof comes this lunacy? What disease vexes your broken mind? From what mystery of psychosis do you draw your lies?

TYBAIN
You mewl lies like a sullied maid on her wedding night, O Great One. Even a lord may be smote in darkness as Lord Entropy sees the truth of you—a base and lowly thing, snivelling in crimson robes. These Dark-bowing citizens about us are affront enough to Aroden’s divine will, but ye, whose left hand clasps Tiamat’s claws, and right reaches out for Entropy’s boon—oh double-dealing fiend-lover, who allies with Tiamat. Entropy’s oaths and then blasphemy spew in one breath from your twisting lips.

HAANDERTHAN
Does your Aroden arse-kissing pall-a-dine put you up to such resounding blasphemy? Have you no tongue of your own, half-breed, to answer my charge?

LARAZOD
Truth is spoken freely in many tongues, false magistrate, and by agents of light and dark. You know what you are.

HAANDERTHAN
You persist in this foolishness? It shall go hard for you and yours. Recant and your deaths shall be swift, your souls consigned to diligent service in bowels of the Arena. Refuse, and enlist in agony’s service, consign your soul to wallow in the most ignominious corner of the Pit, and take eternal suffering as your bedmate.

ILSANDRA
(Aside) He’s to have a much more interesting bedmate, if I’ve anything to say. The fire that one shows at tribunal, will no doubt burn even stronger between my sheets.

DENTRIS
(Aside) That one grows hot betwixt her infernal thighs. Hope beyond hope. One voice of dissent on the council and the slenderest chance of salvation is ours to clutch. Let this waxen sliver of hope not melt until she does—let her find her tongue.

HAANDERTHAN
Speak, boy. Do you still baffle with false charges, or have your battered wits returned? Speak.

LARAZOD
I recant nothing. You, accuser, so stand accused. How do you answer?

HAANDERTHAN
Innocent, of course. And so judgment is passed. My right as magistrate puts you to the flames on my command. My word is law.

DENTRIS
Respectfully, my lord, when I was a barrister of the tribunal, it was common practice to ask Consular Consent in any judgement of a matter involving the Magistrate personally in the case. Has the ancient code of Lord Entropy’s court, scorched on the Tablets of Law by our Great Lord’s own bloody talon, so fallen as to warrant its complete disregard in this tribunal?
*
*HAANDERTHAN

Of course, you are correct, old man. I’ve no intention of affronting our Great Lord. Council, what say ye on this matter? Do you concur with my judgment? These heinous slanders cast upon my great name warrant utter annihilation. So sayeth I, Magistrate of this Gloried Tribunal. Do you agree?

Councillors mutter and call “Aye.” Farus mocks them in pantomime.
*
*ILSANDRA

Nay.

HAANDERTHAN
My ears deceive me. Do you, august erinyes, daughter of the Dark, speak against our cause?

ILSANDRA
I speak against your judgment. Our cause is yet undetermined by my mark. According to our oldest codes, truth can be drawn from an offender, as pus from a wound. Lord Entropy’s Trials show the true heart from the false. Why, simply put the half-breed to the flames. Let us try him properly in accordance with the old ways.

DENTRIS
Well done, lad. Your pretty infernal face is good for something, even if your tongue offends all who hear. We may live yet.

HAANDERTHAN
Tut, the business of the tribunal heaps higher day by day. We’ve cases waiting in the wings by the thousands. Penitent souls singing out for justice. Shall we delay their flight to Lord Entropy’s waiting embrace to engage in infantile contests? Nay, expediency is our charge when matters so lacking in evidence are brought before our bench.

ILSANDRA
Come, come, sweet magistrate. The spectacle of a few trials would do my poor heart well. I wane at these tiresome sessions. Let the trials commence. ’Twould arouse me. ’Twould tickle me. ’Twould drive me to distraction.

HAANDERTHAN
Trials you say? How now? If it is to be so, let us sweeten the pot. A price I would exact for trials as you insist. If this half-breed fails, not only is my name cleared of all preposterous charges, but you shall compact to me for a full moon’s service, to do my bidding and satisfy all my unwholesome needs.

ILSANDRA
Let it be so agreed. I hunger so for trials, I happily wager my body to your whim. We shall see if this half-breed’s words strike true or false.

HAANDERTHAN
So be it. Larazod, you stand in trial. By my discretion you shall face six of Lord Entropy’s fell tests. You stand alone in the face of terrors over which no mortal has prevailed.

TYBAIN
Not alone, my lord. I stand with him.

HAANDERTHAN
You are under no obligation to do so, puppet of the Light. Back down and be discharged, to keep at your slobbering benedictions for a few more years at least.

TYBAIN
I am true to Aroden, the Bright Blade, my lord, but I am also true in loyalty and kinship. This man, though half-Darkspawn his blood may turn, is bound to me in brotherhood, as I stand bound to him. Our blades both matched the enemies of Cillimar, and what faith divides, common cause unites. You cannot sunder me from his destiny. I stand trial at his side, as is my right, if I so beclaim it. Is it not so, Dentris?

DENTRIS
’Tis true, my lord. If the half-brained, light-blinded knight wishes to perish alongside my good master, he is within his lawful right.

HAANDERTHAN
Very well. Burn with him, fool. Dentris Maltrada, you are hereby discharged.

DENTRIS
Nay sir, though I wish nothing more. This boy, as wayward as his fancies take him, is in my care. I never waivered from his father’s service, and I shall not turn my back on the son.

HAANDERTHAN
Surely, you’ve no wish to die?

DENTRIS
There are worse fates, magistrate, than even can be promised on the deepest level of your Hell. To walk alive in a world, my duty undone, my sworn oath broken, is to walk through fires more smolderous than any found in the Great Arena. Though he be a fool, and possessed of a diseased wit, Larazod is my master, and I shall stand by him. Do your worst magistrate. I’ve rolled bones with demons, and gazed in dragons’ hearts. Let us have these trials and be done with my life, if the lords of darkness so command.

HAANDERTHAN
Then the halfwit! Begone from thy ill-fated lord’s service.

Farus refuses comically

HAANDERTHAN
Doddering old sack of bones. Mute fool. No demon’s dice, nor dragon’s musings await you—only torment beyond the stars’ most infinite imaginings. When you mewl out for merciful death, I shall look on in pleasure, as your soul’s wake burns from a withered old corpse. Make ready, supplicants. The trials begin anon. May Lord Entropy take pity on your blighted souls.

Act 2: Trial by Torture Enter DROVALID.
*
*HAANDERTHAN

Good Keeper of Pain, Tormentor of Liars and Demonsuckling Miscreants, we are honored by your presence. Show these supplicants the favor of your stinging lash, and with rack and fire, purge lies from their lips. Break their souls, and let the mad and guilty appall our ears no more with ranting.
*
*DROVALID

Magistrate Maleficarum, I come before you a simple hand whose lash is guided by the greater glory of Lord Entropy, may my scourge do him and this devoted tribunal proud. With your permission I shall begin our first trial.

HAANDERTHAN
Begin at your leisure, Tormentor. End this fool’s mockery of our court with cleansing agony.

Enter the Device and other implements of torture. Drovalid begins administering agonizing pain upon a stoic Larazod and companions.

DENTRIS
Fools, my good master may be a fool of a tiefling, but if you think to wrack his spine, and wheedle mewled recantation from his black lips, you are even greater fools than he. Larazod is no coward, and he sneers in the face of pain with true faith in Lord Entropy—he cannot waver. He faced Tiamat’s spawn and hordes of their slime-ridden minions in battle. His coal-black soul did not quake then. He stands resolute now. You cannot break his spirit.

DROVALID
Recant half-breed. Admit your twisted falsehoods, serpent-tongued traitor!

LARAZOD
Even an ocean of agony cannot turn truth to lie.

More bone-crunching, skin-flensing torment.

DROVALID
Recant and end this trial! Swift death shall embrace you and Lord Entropy smiles upon those who admit their falsehoods—he may not rend your soul completely, may leave some semblance of your spirit intact.

LARAZOD
I recant… nothing! Grind on, honeyed torment. Sing sweetly as I may, no cries of “recant” shall you hear. I hate lies, as I hate Tiamat-loving traitors.

More torture.

LARAZOD
Had enough, Magistrate? Can you withstand it any longer? Please give in and recant, for the only torment I cannot bear is your continued duplicity. Recant, Magistrate! Recant your own lies, and Lord Entropy may have mercy on your slimy soul.

TYBAIN
Ha! Even in the face of soul-crushing pain, he taunts this ridiculous Magistrate of Hell. Hear me, Powers of the Light, if Lord Entropy has such as Larazod in his employ, all our efforts are doomed. Would that you could command such steadfast loyalty as this one here, who laughs at death and grins at the grimmest pain.

ILSANDRA
(Aside) Such a sweet voice. I long to hear his screams more—ah, but to elicit them myself, with a soulburning kiss, and an aching embrace. This torture is most stimulating, though I do hope the Tormentor doesn’t mar the tiefling’s choicest parts. Leave off those! They belong to me alone!

DROVALID
(Exhausted) Recant!

LARAZOD
Never! Lash every inch of flesh from me, leave only a bloody ruin where I stand—that skinned wreck of a man will gurgle only truth and never recant.

Drovalid ends torment and casts down his whip.

DROVALID
He is as unbreakable as a marble tide—dragon’s scale would have shattered long ago—and yet he stands unbowed. No lie can evade this unholy lash of mine, gifted to me by Lord Entropy himself. Larazod must speak the truth!

HAANDERTHAN
Fool! Continue the trial, you’ve yet to probe deep enough into his soul’s painful lies!

DROVALID
My work is done. My findings true. You have never doubted my hand before. Why do you so now? Could it be this Darkling speaks true? Are you allied against our august master of darkness?

HAANDERTHAN
Mind your place, Tormentor! You speak blasphemy in the face of this land’s own Magistrate Maleficarum. Beware, your words endanger your very soul. Take you this halfbreed’s part? Then you would join him on his trials? Don’t be a fool.

DROVALID
If Lord Entropy wishes it so then my soul stands with his. If my hand has failed you, then I shall burn for it. I shall face the remaining five trials at Larazod’s side.

HAANDERTHAN
So be it, traitor. Your rending death, and his, shall be my vindication. Bring on the second trial!

Act 3: Trial by Pleasure
Enter the bailiff bearing five vials and five curved flensing knives. He hands one of each to Dentris, Tybain, Larazod, Drovalid, and Farus.

HAANDERTHAN
It is said that a liar’s pain is easy to bear, but pleasure steals truth from even the most well-tended fortress. So let it be with ye, Larazod. Here before you now are the Flukes of Lord Entropy. Their bite more pleasurable than the caresses of a thousand succubi. Taste of their deep burrowing bliss. Their rapturous journey through your body shall explore the deepest, darkest pleasures any mortal has ever known. Their soul-shuddering wanderings end in your skull, where they plant their young who consume you in an orgasmic frenzy—leaving you an empty husk of a thing—a spent lover, drooling in blissful oblivion forever. Unless, of course, you can resist these Power-bending pleasures. This time, the trial is not yours alone to bear. Let us see if your trusted companions’ faith remains as unshakeable as yours. Who shall be the first to die in spasms of ecstasy?
*
*ILSANDRA

Oh, how I long to face this judgment!

HAANDERTHAN
(Angered). Then so be it! Ye, who speaks for the half-breed, the lone traitor on the council who speaks against my august personage. You must brave this trial, and all that follow, alongside the accused.

ILSANDRA
(Laughing) Gladly! I stand at this Darkling’s side, or at his back, or him at mine, or perhaps I should bolster him up from below or allow him to do the same to me. You shall see how devotedly I attend his pleasure, for he speaks the truth.

HAANDERTHAN
Then burn with him.

ILSANDRA
But I see only five flukes, oh Magistrate. It seems that once again you will be leaving a lady unsatisfied.

HAANDERTHAN
Fear not, turncoat. Thou must face the black caress of Entropy’s tendrils, which shall drive you to such exquisite ecstasy that your black heart will burst from your chest!

Black tendrils erupt from the ground around Ilsandra and entwine her, leaving her gasping in rapture.

LARAZOD
Ilsandra!

HAANDERTHAN
If one such as you can feel concern for her, then make haste! Once each has baptized his blade with his own blood, then you may cut away her bonds. If you are able to resist the flukes!

DROVALID
Master Larazod, most unholy saint of our dark Lord Entropy, please allow me to prove my devotion to your cause. To think my biting lash flayed your chaste red skin, and cracked such a noble hide as yours. I shall be first to face this trial, if you so wish it.
*
*LARAZOD

Your courage is beyond question. Show this lickspittle Magistrate the meaning of devotion, my friend.

Drovalid administers the fluke, convulses in sheer orgasmic ecstasy, but as it crawls up his arm he suddenly plunges a flensing blade beneath the skin, skewering the fluke and removing it.

DROVALID
(Gasping) Lord Entropy bear witness to my devotion. This half-breed speaks only truth!

Likewise, Larazod applies the fluke to his flesh, where it hungrily burrows beneath the surface. Larazod shudders in pleasure.

ILSANDRA
(Moaning) Oh, to be that fluke! To burrow into such sweet flesh!

LARAZOD
I sing only of the joy of supplication to our dark lord. This pleasure is only a gift of Lord Entropy’s truth. I would gladly die at this fluke’s bite, but alas, my duty here is yet undone, and so I scorn this pleasure with a bleeding blade. I shall not relent until your lies are revealed, foul Magistrate.

Larazod cuts out his fluke.

Dentris applies his fluke.

DENTRIS
Oh! It has been so long! Sweet, aching ecstasy!

Improvises a rendition of the Tallis and his Three Wives, and then cuts away the fluke when it is nigh in his neck.

DENTRIS
(Sourly) Between you, my hideous half-breed young master, and a dream of three succubi’s frolics on my flesh—a hard choice, Larazod, but somehow your sweet countenance won out.

TYBAIN
My turn, I suppose.

Tybain applies his fluke and begins giggling uncontrollably.

TYBAIN
Ooooh! Aaaaah! I know not this feeling!

DENTRIS
Ha! Watch the virginal knight squirm!

TYBAIN
It is as if a thousand feathers assault my flesh— especially my most… tender… parts. What strange pleasure is this!

Farus makes suggestive gestures

LARAZOD
Ah, servants of the Light, so like sweet children they be. Hold true, my dear friend!

Tybain suddenly tears loose his fluke.

TYBAIN
I am well, though I may never be the same.

LARAZOD
The last! Quickly now!

Farus applies the fluke and shudders in delight, then cuts it loose.

LARAZOD
Now, to the Dark lady!

The companions plunge their blades into the tendrils holding Ilsandra, which vanish. Ilsandra joins the companions, and embraces Larazod with a fiery kiss. He surrenders to her pleasures.

ILSANDRA
Know the gifts of Lord Entropy, dear child. You have earned great boons by your devoted service, and I shall pay them all with interest. But for now, our pleasures must wait.

HAANDERTHAN
Curse your persistence. All lies eventually reveal their ugly fangs. I shall draw them as venom from a wound.

Act 4: Trial in the Belly of the Beast

DENTRIS
Such horrors. What next?

LARAZOD
Hold true, old man.

DENTRIS
Easy for you to say! Youth laughs at death as a stranger. As you grow older you come to know it well—and fear it.

DROVALID
I have seen young and old break before this court. They all share one thing: a weak and watery eye speaking to a frailty of spirit. Your eyes are like grit and sand, obstinate even in the face of the storm-fraught sea. You cannot break, old wizard.

DENTRIS
Perhaps not, but tell me, Tormentor—what fresh horrors await?

DROVALID
Here follows the Trial in the Belly of the Beast. A great terror, gifted to this court by an Old Power, the Beast is a hideous thing, whose stomach is a nest of acid-spewing serpents. It shall swallow us whole, and wash us clean in its acid well.
*
*DENTRIS

Where is the “trial” in this!?

DROVALID
If we are innocent, and speak no lies, then the Beast’s Belly will leave us unscathed.

TYBAIN
Madness!

LARAZOD
Hold fast, my dear friend. Have faith in Lord Entropy.

TYBAIN
But I do not!

LARAZOD
Well then you better learn to swim.

Enter the Beast.

LARAZOD
Come, horror, I shall tear my way from your gizzard with the white-hot blade of my truth.

DROVALID
Die though I might, melted to a puddle of liquid flesh in the bowels of the Beast, I cannot think of any greater man to join in death. I am honoured to die at the side of a man so filled with truth.
*
*ILSANDRA

If my flesh must liquefy, then know that I am glad it will mingle with yours, dearest Larazod.

DENTRIS
Come and have a bite, Old Beastie. These old bones shall stick in your craw and choke the life from you.
*
*TYBAIN

My holy flesh shall burn it all the way down. Aroden’s blessings upon my soul ensure a most unpleasant meal for this Beast.

Farus makes comical gagging motions.

The Beast devours them. They fight their way free from his gizzard.

Act 5: The Birthing Trial

HAANDERTHAN
You have crawled from the maw of the Beast. Let us see what blasphemous lies slither from your treacherous insides. Show them.

The Bailiff brings out six crimson eggs.

DROVALID
Dear Entropy! Spare us!
*
*LARAZOD

What means these strange crimson eggs?
*
*DROVALID

Oh horror beyond nightmare! The eggs, they burrow deep within us. They hatch deep in our insides, churning our guts to paste and slurping them through gritted devil teeth. They feed on our souls. When these foul devils have eaten their fill, they tear their way free—terrible things! Hideous devil-children bearing our own faces, but filled with hate for all we are. We are mothers to twisted things and look upon our own visage as we die by their taloned hands.

HAANDERTHAN
Shall you recant now, or will you give birth to abominations of your very flesh?

ILSANDRA
Do your worst, fool of a mortal. I am a princess to hell, and no child born of my black soul shall bear malice against me.

Larazod lifts the Bailiff off the ground by the throat with one mighty hand.

LARAZOD
Ha! Give me your egg, you lickspittle. If Lord Entropy wishes it, I shall choke the life of my own devilish child with glee. I gulp this egg down before this court and our dark lord’s very eyes.

DENTRIS
Well, give me mine. Not much good it shall avail you. The real Dentris Maltrada was killed ages ago at my own devilish hands when I was born from his old soul. I am a child of this egg.

TYBAIN
Truly?! I had no idea!

DENTRIS
(Rolls eyes) If only everyone was as naïve as ye, paladin.

TYBAIN
I like eggs! Red, white, or otherwise. Hand me mine! I’ll eat it raw!

The companions eat their eggs and hideous devil children are born from them. They battle the devil children valiantly. Ilsandra, amazed that her daughter attacks her, lashes out with ferocity.

ILSANDRA
No! My child! Forgive me! You’ll pay for this, Haanderthan—with your heart’s blood, and with every shred of your soul.

Act 6: Trial by Combat and Love

HAANDERTHAN
(Aside) How can this be? Four trials broken, and still they prevail. Lord Entropy smiles upon them. Does the Dark Lord truly know of my compact with Tiamat? It cannot be, or I am utterly undone. True or nay, I must try the last. I shall plunge their faith in pitch and acrid stew, and see if they hold to the cause.

(To the companions) You sickly whelps profess undying devotion to one another. Another smoldering lie flung from your dark holes. You but conspire to confound this court and our Dark Majesty. ’Tis ye who contract with dragon-spawn and seek my undoing, in service to some slimy mistress or master of the putrid Tiamat. Your vile benefactors have thus far warded off justice’s dark hand, but let us see if you hold steadfast before the promise of oblivion.

DENTRIS
More? I cannot last. My old heart gives out. Go on without me, master. I served your father faithfully. Alas, I am found lacking in the face of his half-breed son. The challenges, ever dire, cleave my soul from me. May Lord Entropy keep me.

LARAZOD
No foolish talk, old wizard. Haven’t you claimed immortality a thousand times to any bent ear? Old Dentris Maltrada cannot die, ye said. I’ve eaten the heart of an ancient Red Wyrm, and warmed by his fire, my soul burns eternal. Get up, my dear friend, more father to me, than ever any father was. Your duties are not abated. Your task is yet undone.

TYBAIN
Let him die. He’s suffered long enough, and we’ve suffered his blustery speeches even more keenly. Kick off, old bag, and be done with ye!

DENTRIS
Why you shiny beetle! You quivering pall-o-dine of a sniveling Lighted Power! You plump kettle! I’ll bring the all-encompassing powers of a thousand worlds crashing down upon your head! The keening song of dead gods warble at my command. I’ll leave your mind a tatterdemalion of a sad rag. Die! Die, you say! Nay, not till I’ve seen the last oafish breath squeezed from your lungs by tongs of fire—you simpering Aro-din-din!

TYBAIN
Looking more lively now, aren’t we?

LARAZOD
Peace, old man. The pall-o-dine works a righteous healing upon your old bones—applying the only balm your withered heart desires—spitting ire and uncouth rage. Bile for balm, bile for balm—what a wolfish old man, a terror to kings and angels. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dentris Maltrada. He knows no equal.

DENTRIS
Enough, pup! I am much abused. Lay not your hands on me, pall-o-dine! I’ll rise without your Power’s urgings. I’ve work left indeed.
*
*ILSANDRA

Strange old wizard, loyal and dear heart. He’ll join us in the marriage bed and one last night of bliss will be his for the taking!

LARAZOD
A lovely sentiment, my princess of Hell, disturbing though it may be.

DROVALID
Enough. It is time. I am not long of your company, but know that I would stand by you all through six hundred trials. Take hands with me, half-breed. My sins and yours are one. Our destinies intertwine, and I walk your path with you to the bitter burning end.

LARAZOD
I’m honored.
*
*HAANDERTHAN

How touching. These sentiments of yours are nothing but dreamy clouds, soon to be shred by Lord Entropy’s blasting winds.

LARAZOD
Face of hazy dream-like bliss, kiss like fire. I burn for you, princess. Cling to me, dig your talons into my chest and touch my heart with white-hot caress.

ILSANDRA
I am yours for one thousand blissful years. Drink my sizzling blood from my wrist, or anywhere else you like— let us seal this sinful compact and consummate our love in the heat of battle.
*
*TYBAIN

Dentris, you old cur, dog curled by your master’s feet. I can’t call you friend, but a truer servant I’ve never known. Loyalty is the mark of greatness. Know that my sword is yours!

Farus comically hugs everyone.

ILSANDRA
Great Tormentor, Drovalid Vorclune, let it be said a man who can bear the vicious ministrations he renders upon his foes is a great man indeed. Though I am pledged to this young half-breed, know your courage sends shudders through my loins.

DROVALID
You do me sweet honor, great lady. I stand in awe of your passion, and these worthy nobles’ unshakable courage. Even this milksop of a pall-o-dine stands hard against the torments of the Arena—harder than the fiercest witch.

The companions fight off a legion of devils.
*
*_Act 7: Trial by His Own Dark Hand_

HAANDERTHAN
The final trial is at hand. Your souls shall be quenched at long last.

LARAZOD
This trial is yours, Magistrate Maleficarum. Lord Entropy is the only true judge here. Bow before him.

HAANDERTHAN
Insolent dog! Lord Entropy shall scour your soul as sauce from a pan. Ash for bones, and waxen souls melted by the dark lord’s flame to puddle at his taloned feet.

LARAZOD
We shall see who is judged!

THE DARK LORD enters in a burst of foul colored flames and shrieking, crimson skinned imps and offers Larazod a choice. His creatures hang silk scarves around all the companions’ necks—one of red, one of crimson. Each is handed a contract written in blood.

THE DARK LORD
Choose. A true heart shall beat strong for all eternity at my side, a false one rots to nothing.

Larazod and his companions choose the crimson scarves and the red ones rot away. Haanderthan cries out in terror as THE DARK LORD turns on him.

THE DARK LORD
Treacherous magistrate who lords false justice over true souls. Your soul shall burn for all eternity— an everlasting torment awaits you.

THE DARK LORD drags Haanderthan into the mouth of Hell.

Exeunt Omens.

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The Six Trials of Larazod Script

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